Friday, December 7, 2007

A little Visitor

Last evening when the kids and I were leaving for town Tanner noticed 2 birds in the garage. I tried to shew them out, no luck and I didn't have time to really get them out so I left them in the garage. When we got home, same deal, didn't have time to deal with it, was late and I needed to get the kids to bed. Once again I left them in the garage.
I actually forgot about it til this morning when I went to take the kids to the bus stop. I opened the garage door and one flew out. I left the garage door open while I took the kids up the street thinking that the other would make his way out while I was gone.
I came back with a list of stuff to get done before 10:00. I've been looking forward to watching a friend who appeared on The Martha Stewart Show this morning.
So, I got the beds made, laundry started, some folded, Tyler and my self bathed and dressed, and a few other things. I ran down the stairs at 9:55, put on some hot water for tea, and was so proud of myself for getting so much done in less than 2 and a half hours. I could sit and watch Martha with nothing else nagging at me in the back of my mind that I should be doing.
Just as I sad down I heard ruckus coming from the dining room. Cats. I ignored them, but they kept up. They were both hissing and clicking their teeth. I pause Martha, put my tea down and went into the dining room and this is what I found:

Yep, that's a bird on the dining room light fixture and Marty on the table licking his chops.
I propped all the doors open thinking he'd leave but he stayed. He actually looked pretty happy flying around the house. At this point I'm laughing, thinking it's all pretty hilarious. Tyler couldn't believe it.
Here's how the next 45 minutes went-
He flew around the Kitchen:

Back to the Dining Room:

To the Kitchen again:

And then to the Family room to hang out in the Christmas Tree. (I'm a little annoyed that I'm not catching Martha like I planned, but still laughing, I've got DVR):

He flew back and fourth between the three rooms for a bit until the little S**T seriously wore out his welcome. What makes a bird think that he can poop on the wall in somebody's kitchen or on their Christmas tree ball?

That was it, i got the broom. I'm not laughing anymore-

I chased him madly around the house from one room to the other screaming and yelling and swinging the broom-

That's it, I'm done playing this game. You're a dead bird.
I got the CO2 pistol out of it's place, loaded it and pointed it at the bird-

Oops, I forgot to turn on the laser light. I wouldn't want to shoot the ceiling. I'm from Wyoming and all but not so much a sharp shooter. I put the red dot right on the middle of his little fat body, and started humming Nah Nah Nah Nah, Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye. My finger tensed on the trigger... I was done with this bird. He had taken my morning away from me.

OH NO- What if it bleeds, or guts pop out? I can't do it, because I can't deal with BIRD BLOOD. EEEEW.
I'm smart enough to know that the air pistol won't blow the bird to pieces but I'm not sure about a puncture.
Chris won't be home til midnight and I don't have the stomach to clean up the consequences. Big or little. I can't let my kids see the mess and Motor and Marty would probably try to eat it. EH.

Then I heard Tyler and his friend Addison coming down the stairs jabbering to each other. I couldn't let them see me pointing a gun at a bird. So I ran in the kitchen and hid the gun on top of the fridge. I felt like I was 15 getting caught doing something questionable. And to boot, Addison is the smartest 2 1/2 year old I've ever met. There's nothing getting past this boy, he'd tell his mom for sure. Seriously, he probably could have driven himself to his playdate. The boy is bright.
With two little boys eyes on me I had to collect myself, rethink and come up with another plan to get the bird out of the house. Maybe I should just wait til Chris got home.
I left the doors propped open, grabbed my tea which was pretty much iced by now, sat down, unpaused Martha and about 15 minutes later out of the corner of my right eye I saw Mr. Bird fly out the back door.

He's out there somewhere. You can see Motor is still on the prowl.

Thank goodness for the DVR or I would have completely missed The Martha Stewart Show.
By the way-
Jenni Bowman did a great job on Martha today. Take a look at her cute little treats at